If you're best friend got bit on the johnson by a rattlesnake would let him die or suck the poison out?

First waste time wondering why he was waving his wang at a snake ! then get a large branch and break his spine just above his butt-crack - it won't cure the snake-bite or lessen the effects of the poison, but at least now he'll be able to bend over enough to suck his own willy free of poison or die happy ! and you'll have done all that's required of a 'REAL' friend ! LOL